aloof_savant | Log: Hearts & Minds (Agnes)

[ Agnes, seeing the door wide open, steps into the room with the laundry basket in her hands. It was the same pile of laundry that she had been hanging up when engaged in the conversation with Cray, now meticulously folded and placed into the basket. ]

Caesar?

[ She closes the door behind her as she puts the basket down, looking at him strangely. ]

[ The sound of the closing door snaps him more out of it than hearing his own name. He quickly presses the quill in his hands against a half-written document, trying to pretend that he wasn't lollygagging just a second ago. ]

Huh? --Oh, Agnes! You're back already.

Already? Was I supposed to do something else?

[ She asks that in genuine confusion and not out of sarcasm or anything, looking at him quite puzzedly. She seems a bit distracted herself, not noticing his absent-mindedness, either. ]

No... I believe I just lost track of time, is all.

[ He stands up, only now remembering what her original task was. ]

The laundry, yes? Let me help you with that.

[ She flashes a very unconscious quick smile at his offer of aid and holds the basket out towards him, stepping closer. ]

Thank you. What were you so distracted with?

[ As he takes the basket out of her hands, he lets out a smile of his own to hide his thoughts. Then again, smiling around her has never been hard in the first place. ]

Ah...? You could tell?

You said you lost track of time, is all.

[ She dusts her hands after he takes the basket, and then immediately moves straight to his desk to peer at whatever's currently holding his attention. ]

[ He was distracted from doing work, not so much with work. But glad she didn't pick up on that much! ]

Hey!

[ He immediately followed her and places the basket on his desk, covering up his so-called "work", then looking at her again. ]

Let's not talk about work, now.

No? ... I could help you with it, if you need to talk it out.

[ She gazes at the basket on the desk for a moment, as if thinking... and then simply begins taking out the folded laundry, heading to his drawers to begin putting it away as if on autopilot. ]

I know you could, but I just want to take a break. I'd rather talk with you, you know? Uh. Outside of the realm of work, I mean. Ah, I don't know...

[ He just follows her as he rambles. While he's talking, however, he's observing Agnes as she's working. She seems very "business" today, focusing more on work and chores than conversation. He doesn't comment on it initially, choosing to analyze the situation further so far. He could just be overthinking again. ]

Yes.

[ She says it more of an acknowledgement of what Caesar has said as she moves back and forth, gently placing everything in its proper place. After a few moments of silence, she adds: ]

Yes, I know what you mean.

...Yeah, so anyway...

[ He starts helping her with the task. If they can't connect with conversation, they can at least do something together. Perhaps even get to the bottom of this. ]

I was thinking, we should...

[ Before he can finish that thought, he stops mid-sentence as he picks up one of his folded shirts and notices something peculiar about it. ]

...
Hm.

Agnes.

Yes? I'm still listening.

[ Agnes is trying to flatten a set of folded pants so that it fits into the drawer. She seems distracted by this task, enough to not notice Caesar pausing over a shirt. ]

[ He unfolds his shirt properly to inspect it, there's a brief silence as -- yep, he confirms it's exactly what he sees. He then displays the shirt in front of her, revealing an obvious tearing in the linen. ]

Are you secretly trying to change my style?

[ She glances up, looking slightly surprised at the tear. What? She didn't remember doing that. She stands, taking the shirt from him to inspect it closely, wondering if maybe it snagged on something. Surely it didn't happen earlier...? ]

I'm sorry, I-- I'm not sure how that happened...?

[ Oh. There's a brief flicker of recognition on her face, but she quickly shoves it aside. ]

Agnes...

[ He remembers the last time Agnes broke something-- his chair, she was also extremely distracted. An argument with Minen, he recalls. ]

Did something happen? Don't tell me you and Minen went at it again...

N-no.

[ She hurriedly rolls the shirt up into a ball now, putting it on the bed to be discarded later as she reaches for more things to put away. ]

No, nothing at all. Minen and I have been getting along quite well lately.

[ Her hands are shaking just visibly as she keeps on with her task, the events of the day coming back to her after her previous attempts to ignore them. ]

...

[ Well, it's certainly something else then, and it's bugging his ever-thinking mind. Not only that, but he knows Agnes can blow up herself if a situation isn't resolved right away. It shows in her work. ]

Agnes, please stop. I don't care about the laundry now.

[ He gently grabs her hand by the wrist and removes the item of clothing she's holding with his other hand. ]

[ She relinquishes her hold upon the item, her expression not exactly pleased at this intrusion, but... she seems to accept it because it's Caesar. She gazes at his hand absently, hers still trembling slightly. ]

It's... I'm not sure if it's really even... real. What happened...

[ Her voice tapers off to a mumble, and she avoids his gaze. ]

[ His intuition was right. This definitely wasn't the time for his brand of humour and hijinks. Something was clearly wrong. ]

What..? I don't understand.

Tell me what happened.

I-I mean, I'm sure it was nothing. It must have been a bluff.

[ She's going back to her initial reactions to the event, letting it unfold again and again in her mind. That initial burst of hot-and-cold in her body, her self-reasoning concerning the event and its likelihood. She seems fairly stressed out and agitated. ]

I-- Cray spoke with me.

[ She finally manages to get the words out, looking up at Caesar with an expression that could best be described as confused. ]

[ These two again. Caesar was no stranger to Agnes' contempt for the man -- and he certainly doesn't blame her for how she feels, as much as he wishes she didn't for the sake of her peace. ]

Again?
...What did he say?

He wanted to reconcile with me and explain his motivations behind the war, but I told him-- I told him no, I didn't want anything to do with him, and I told him I hated him so much that I'd be happy if he failed or-- or--

[ Her speech comes out in a bit of an incoherent mess now, and her words are spilling out faster than she can think of them. She tries to slow down. ]

-- I told him I'd be happy at his suffering, and so he-- he jumped off the ship, and --

[ Her breathing is getting so irregular that she sounds like she's hiccuping. She doesn't seem distraught, so to speak, but in a state of shock. ]

[ Caesar, in his own little surprise, lets go of Agnes and slightly pulls away, trying to process this huge revelation. All of it. Even her dark thoughts before the man jumped. Naturally, it was all coming at him a little too fast. The girl was just doing laundry a minute ago as if nothing happened! ]

--w-wait, go back again? He did what?

He jumped off the ship.

[ She says it almost blandly now, her breathing still irregular but she seems to be fighting to calm herself. ]

I--I don't know if he is alive, I don't care.

Agnes..!

[ He wants to tell her that intentionally enabling someone to commit suicide is wrong, but the event already seems to have broken her in a way that he doesn't know how to remedy now. His only hope is to remain calm, first and foremost, and try to piece these events together for a clearer picture. After all, she didn't say that he died, so maybe... ]

When was this, exactly?

Earlier this afternoon.

[ Her eyes look clearer now as she glances up at Caesar, and now her expression is imploring. ]

But he cannot be dead, right? Surely a man such as that wouldn't-- wouldn't take his own life because of my words. I-it... it is a bluff. He is just trying to scare me. He must know that I do not care...

[ He is doing a little mental math as he lets Agnes rationalize her thoughts. Earlier in the afternoon? He tries to recall if he has sighted Cray at any point between that time and now. Surely, he feels that has indeed seen him... he certainly hasn't seen or heard of any dead bodies. The deeper he thinks about it, his teeth would grit harder. ]

You might be right about that... [ What he hates just as much is how detached Agnes is about all of this -- just what has Cray done to this girl? He wants to burst out the door right now and chase the man down for answers, but also knows that Agnes needs him more than ever right now. ]

Unacceptable. Th-this is..!

[ She's gone relatively silent now, replaying the events quietly to herself. Then she seems to hear Caesar's words. ]

Y-you think I am right...?

Maybe.

One thing that supports the idea is that nobody has reported anything since then. Duke and Geddoe live on that ship, after all, among a few fishermen and such. I highly doubt this would have gone unnoticed...

...
No, what I am more worried about is you.

Th-there is nothing to worry about. I'm not lying when I say I would be glad to be rid of a man like him. He-- it angers me that he thinks he can simply say a few words and have me accept him. I will never.

But to make you feel as if you played a part in his suicide... whether it was genuine or otherwise...

[ He's trying his best to suppress his own rage. Despite coming across as thick skinned, he was always quick to lose his cool when matters concerned his loved ones, whether it's Agnes, Hugo or even Albert. There are some lines not to be crossed. He feels that Agnes is still wrong for having such toxic thoughts, but it was Cray that's causing all of it. ]

That's his crap, not yours.

[ It's almost like their roles had reversed, in which Caesar's fists are slightly shaking as his mind quietly stirs in irrational fury. ]

[ She turns away from him again, growing even more concerned due to his reaction -- especially because he seems much angrier than her, and she seems - although panicked and distressed at first - a lot calmer, now that Caesar has confirmed her suspicions on the bluff. She quietly and gingerly takes one of his hands, unsure what to do as she gazes at their point of contact. ]

I... I should not have goaded him, even if I spoke the truth. I-- I should have been the better person.

[ He understood her desire for revenge rather well. Hugo has had to learn to live with those feelings, too, but it was the fact that he can rise above it... to forgive not only Chris Lightfellow, but extend the olive branch to Luc in their final encounter, that inspires Caesar. He only wishes to see the same in Agnes someday, but he also wonders if she is only saying that to make him feel better right now. ]

You were never wrong to speak the truth in the first place. It's what I always... well, I like that about you. It's the adult and self-proclaimed genius who should know better... tch! Damn him..!

[ His last few words provoke her again, and her face is an expression of scorn. ]

Self-proclaimed genius?

It wasn't in those words, per se. He believes that it if he was an idiot then this never would have happened in the first place.

It... disturbed me, but I brushed it off as him being awkward at expressing himself, rather than tooting his own horn. I'd hope so, anyway.

He bragged to me. About his power and wealth. His smarts.

[ She clenches her own hand over his fist for a moment. ]

A person can have everything, but their weak heart and mind will fail them. Lazlo was not a self-proclaimed anything, but he was the victor.

I know that.

[ He remains unphased as she squeezes his hand, allowing her to express her own anger. ]

But also remember, your own heart is strong, too. ...And, you have mine as well. I would never ask you to save that man's life, or to take pity on him, but at the very least share your burden with me. Tell me, when something like this happens, Agnes.

I... would have told you if he had indeed not been seen again.

[ While he's glad to hear that, the whole autopilot thing still has him worried for her mental state. But... there isn't much more to be said on this subject. More importantly, Cray still needs to be found before this discussion can delve any deeper. ]

...You should get some rest.

... Yes.

[ She nods stiffly, picks up the shirt on the bed - the one that had started this whole affair - and balls it tightly it in her hands. ]

... Can you... take care of the rest of the laundry?

[ His priorities lie more with finding Cray first, which he plans on doing once she leaves, but he's not going to make her stay back and finish the task either. ]

Of course, Agnes.

[ She smiles gratefully at him, as if his ability to take care of the laundry suddenly means the world to her. It's an odd response. ]

... Thank you, Caesar. ... F-for everything.

[ Seeing her smile again, even if briefly, means even more to him. It gives him relief that she will be alright, whether or not she'll be the same after this incident. He doesn't want her to do any of this alone. ]

Come on, now, that's my line...

[ She shakes her head at that, and then goes to the door. ]

Please don't worry about me. ... I will be fine.

[ And she quietly slips out before he can interject, because she wants to be fine and if she leaves now she will be. And asking him about this feeling of emptiness is something that is better saved for another day. ]

Log: Hearts & Minds (Agnes)

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